I'm normally kind of a private person. I don't really tend to open up my personal life to the general public but I was reflecting on this last week and I want to record some of the things I experienced recently. I am 31 weeks pregnant now and overall I feel really great. I am so grateful to still be able to exercise because I need to exercise. It's such a part of my life and even if I just get out and take a walk I notice the difference in my attitude. However, I have been struggling this week with severe crabbiness. Somehow I can't seem to shake it. Mitchell is a complete saint because he is really patient and supportive even though I know he sees the worst side of me lately. It seems like this pregnancy induced crankiness is a vicious cycle too because the more crabby I am the more frustrated it makes me and I get even crabbier! One day this week I was horribly crabby all day. I got upset at the littlest and most insignificant things and was just all around in a bad mood. That afternoon I was scheduled to work from 2pm-10pm and to be honest I was dreading going. I think I would have dreaded going to Disneyland that day though. I got to work and during the shift change report I was handed over a bunch of problems that I was supposed to work out and I got even more annoyed. All I could think were selfish thoughts about how much I didn't want to be there and how someone else should have resolved the problems instead of just handing them off to me. I was even annoyed at the innocent bystanders, who are my co-workers, just for their mere presence. I was pretty much a mess. Basically, my attitude and I just tried to get the work done without talking to anyone and trying desperately to avoid contact with other people for fear that I would blow up. I was counting down the hours until 10pm when I could clock out and go home. I went about my work that evening giving people their medications, caring for their wounds and their bodies, and even just retrieving things on a shelf out of reach. I helped a patient reposition himself in his wheelchair when he was uncomfortable and later in the evening helped a woman arrange her pillows to cradle her head comfortably. When I finally got a chance to sit down at 8pm to do some charting I realized that I wasn't crabby anymore! Even better, I was in a great mood! I realized that by serving those who really need my help I became happier. My problems and frustrations disappeared. This is one of the reasons I love being a nurse! The motto of the BYU College of Nursing is "Learning the Healer's Art." This refers to Jesus Christ as The Healer, and of His selfless service. I have a long way to go toward Christ-like perfection but I'm really grateful to be a nurse and to see miracles happen in my life as I serve others. My goal this week is to be happy every day. Mitchell deserves to come home to a happy wife with all that he does for me and puts up with.
